where the wind takes me

After a week of having to let my thoughts process, it is confirmed that I'm leaving for BC, in August. But, why on earth would I leave the place I love so deeply as I love Edmonton? Well, I've been handed an opportunity to test out Victoria for a few months, from a very generous friend, at a very convenient time. And since I can take my office (and dog) with me anywhere, why not? Besides, I can always return. Nothing is permanent.

I felt incredibly selfish for a while, even a little irresponsible, anxious, and really quite overwhelmed. It took me about two weeks to let it become a final "yes" instead of "well.... I think... maybe... I should ... but..." So much flip flopping. It was NOT easy... but why not? Really, why not? After I decided that if someone else was given the opportunity (I'd not only be a little jealous ) I'd tell them that life is too short not to try it. It's that Mario star I was talking about before. I can hear the music.. Run and use it while it lasts! It's just so crazy that I'm the one holding it.

I feel super lucky to be me, and sometimes that sensation is scary. There are a number of adjustments that come with personal success, and sadly there's the realization that not everyone is going to like you when you're happy. Some people hate when you do well, and it's simply because you make it look easy, like there is no struggle. It's actually quite opposite, as I work almost constantly (by nature) and have done so all my life. I just never had the confidence to do it, or see it pay off so well as it has. And so, here I am, with this opportunity to keep growing and trying new things. My true friends will come with me, no matter where I go. That's where I feel so invincible.

There's a big world out there to explore. I'm curious what these new surroundings will do for me, as I have another post to write, regarding my relationship with water. I grew up swimming, with my cousins and sister (who live over there). Moving closer to them, makes me wonder if maybe it'll bring me back to myself a little. Goodness knows I got a little lost for a while. The soothing powers of nature are pretty remarkable. Trees, ocean, mountains; sounds amazing. I feel my stress slow down as soon as I think of it. I know Breakfast will love it, for sure. I'm kind of excited for him to see it with me.

So, I've planned my adventure, and hopefully it all goes smoothly. Basically, I'll be loading my car with what I need, and putting the rest in storage; in case I choose to return. I feel some security in that, because Edmonton has proven to be such a massive support to me through the years, I consider it my home away from home. Winnipeg will always be where my roots are, but Edmonton? Damn... this city has taught and given me SO much. As I like to describe it to most people: Edmonton is the city that taught me how to hug back. Open arms everywhere. It's seriously the best decision I ever made, to come here. I'm curious what BC will do for me.

August is going to creep up quickly, so I have much to do, people to see, places to visit, and stuff to get rid of to lighten the load. I have no attachment to 'things', so I have no problem with that part. It's like a cleanse, to make room for a refreshing start. Who knows where it will take me. I just feel so lucky to get to take on this adventure and continue to do what I love, with the support of the people who matter most. It is so crazy, I catch myself shaking my head often. For real, you guys. I never would have imagined this.

So, now that that's off my chest.. I have so much more to get out of my system as we go (this took me a week to write properly). This is big news, and I'll admit that it threw off my creative focus for about a week or two. I allowed myself the time to breathe and let it cycle, and now I'm pumped up and ready to show what I've got, because I can't sit around too long or else the whole plan fails before it begins. That's something I really need to push against, because I often accept failure before it even happens. Confidence changes all. It's new, but I know what I need to do to keep on top of it. Watch me go!

All I have to say, is thank you.. every single one of you who is out there supporting what I do. This next adventure is going to be amazing, slightly terrifying, but mostly amazing, because man oh man... the things you learn with these sorts of experiences. I'm ready to grow.