I've been weighing out my reasons as well as the pros and cons to packing up and going someplace else. I have the freedom of being on my own, to make whatever decision I want, and the adventure bug has been itching my brain. Is it the right time, or poor timing? And why go when things are actually going so well? I'm being honest that it's been a thought, and I consider it every day. I just want to be responsible about it.
With only 2 months of experience in freelance, I have to say that I need to be considerate to this curiosity toward venturing outward, because it could backfire and take me down in one fell swoop. I've barely built up a savings, or even a solid structure with my process, as I still have so much more to learn, and even more so when it comes to making myself known. I make approx. 80% of my sales online, so who's to say that moving would make that much of a difference. My office goes where I go. There's magic and freedom in that. But, there's also the social part that I'm considering. This city is incredibly supportive, and I feel I've only just begun to get to know how supportive it actually can be. With festivals and venues approaching for the summer, I have to admit that I'm excited to get myself out there.
Every person I've met here seems to have some sort of creative spark, and it's what keeps them driven and dreaming in ways I can so easily relate to. I love being able to touch base with each one of my social circles and feel a sense of understanding, even if the amount of time I actually spend with them is limited. This, I am seeking to change. I feel grateful to know the people I know today, and tend to consider that I would have never met them had I not decided to take a chance and move here. That's what piques my curiosity, though, when it comes to going somewhere new. New people, new adventures, new experiences. It's intriguing.
If I leave, I want to be sure that I'm leaving for the right reasons. I'll admit that last month was a personal struggle, and that's when I started to toss this idea around. When things don't go your way, it's easy to feel like you need to set yourself at a distance, when it isn't necessarily what is constructive. There is much to appreciate, and sometimes being in a poor mindset can blind you from that. For someone who doesn't like to ask for help, it might be better to swallow my pride and seek out those who I find so important and let them help bring me back to surface. I have a project in mind to encourage this. Will post about it another time.
I'm constantly making new friends here, and I have to say that it's overwhelming to see how much support I get from the people around me. I feel a sense of invincibility, like I can make friends anywhere, it's just that the idea of starting from scratch again can be both intriguing and kind of exhausting. It takes time to make friends and build up a social circle, especially as an adult. Am I ready for that? Sometimes yes, sometimes not at all. For someone who has pressed restart so many times in their lives, it may have become second nature to crave new introductions.. and yet, I'm 35 and seeking structure and stability in my flighty lifestyle.
So why go, then? Well, I know I don't want to stay here forever, and I can go when I want. Edmonton has been a bit of a stepping stone for me, and while I know there are bigger/better things for me to explore in this big blue planet, I just don't know when I'm ready to take that leap. It's like jumping off the high dive. I know I'm going to love the rush of it and be glad I gave it a shot; the question lies on when and where I'll land. With a little dog in tow and nothing holding me back, I feel we can do just about anything. That's a cool feeling. Who knows what I'll decide tomorrow or the next day. It's just sorta fun to dream out loud.
Life is full of endless opportunities, especially when you create them for yourself.