Some days it feels unbearable; the idea that I don't have a "home" anymore, a job, the ol' routine, the life I knew for so long. Sure, I have a roof over my head, but I'm tired of this lifestyle of starting from scratch and not knowing where I'm going or how long I'll stay. I've lived a very long and unstable lifestyle that I'm ready to put an end to it, on my own terms. It's necessary for me to have that control.
I've let go of so many things in the last few months, it's really quite amazing. It wasn't easy, it still isn't, but it taught me a lot about who I am and what I'm capable of. I said goodbye to the things that were once so important to me, I didn't think I could ever live without them; the familiar faces and places, my seat in the front window, where I'd drink my tea, watch the neighbourhood, do my writing or stitchy-bits, listen to the sound of silence on the mornings to myself. I know I'll find another comfort zone of my very own like that, one day. It's frightening (and maybe even fun) not knowing where that place is yet.
Each day is different, and the emotions that come with them are amazing, sometimes simple, intense and/or even totally unexpected. I have no idea what I'm doing... for the moment, that's just fine. I'm breathing.