what is now

I keep meaning to write, and my drafts folder is packed with attempts at spilling my thoughts, so I'm giving it a shot by hitting the publish button. There's just so much going on, it's hard to pick where to start. I'm in a very good place, feeling loved, loving life, even enjoying being myself more than usual. It feels quite unreal, and it's only going to get better from here. Moving day approaches, so fast. Here's what's up. I hope to elaborate on some of these topics, but I can't promise that. Brains, everywhere!

First, I got a tattoo.. about a month ago. On June 10th (to be exact) I decided to make it permanent, after months of drawing the Big Dipper (Ursa Major) on my arm. There's a lot of meaning behind it, which I would rather write more about in a different post. Also, I'm working on a star project that would illustrate the story all too well. Hang tight.

I've been asked a lot lately, why Victoria? "It rains, it's expensive, it's for hippies." Sorry dudes, but I am part hippie, I'd rather have rain than snow, and the cost of living is jacking up here in Edmonton faster than I can keep up with. Besides, it's a chance to try something new, as I have a place to stay, and can bring my office anywhere. I would kick myself not to take the opportunity. Edmonton, you are a tough one to leave; especially in the summer. Beauty everywhere.

To dip into a little bit of a review of June, it was probably my toughest month yet. The first week, I took some time off, because I was really distracted by the adrenaline involved with saying Victoria is a go. I just couldn't focus, and it showed in my work. It took me a long time to stop flip flopping between my two options, because I was so seriously torn on wanting to stay in Edmonton, because of the people (and various other reasons). Seriously, it's not an easy choice, but I know I'll be leaving here with a lot of great friends, and great memories, that I will keep in my heart; no matter where I go. The support I've received along the way has been amazing. I feel lucky, oh so lucky, to know the world I know right now. You guys.. seriously.. so much love.

Excited? Yes. Terrified? Completely. What else? A little mashup of feeling exhilarated, refreshed, anxious, and totally content. I have been purging the things I don't need, things with memories I don't wish to keep, and things that are simply just that... Things. I have no attachment to things, though I've vowed to keep the couch. After 3 couches in 4 years, I'm sorry, I'm storing this baby until I find out where we land. Until then, we're loading the car, hitting the road, and living off of what we can carry for the journey. By we, of course I mean me and Breakfast.

Breakfast. Oh, my Breakfast Jones. I love this guy more than words can say, and I feel so invincible to have him as my trusty sidekick. We spend all of our time together, as he is my coworker and companion. I love that he gets me outside to play, when I need breaks from the office. Every day, I laugh and enjoy all that we have around us. I feel fortunate to have this guy in my life. For real, he is the best friend I could have ever asked for. I think he's going to love being among the trees, ocean, and mountains that will surround us in our new home. I wish he could understand me when I tell him about it. The surprise will be enough, I'm sure.

Other than that, we just wait until the day comes along where we pack and go. It's crazy to think it's just a matter of weeks. I'm trying to take it all in and visit with the ones who matter most, and just be so thankful for this experience. Now is all that matters, and it is all that I am grateful for. I have no idea if we'll love Victoria so much as we love it here, but it's all about taking chances and learning from the experience. I cannot wait.. and yet, I don't want these days to end.

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