more right nows

I have to say, that right now is a really interesting time. I shake my head constantly in disbelief, gratitude, and surprise. We're here. We're in one piece. Where did the time go? Yet, I feel we waited for this, forever.

The drive was so incredible, I wish I could have taken pictures of every single thing I saw along the way. Breathtaking, magnificent, overwhelming, inspiring. I loved the whole trip. Breakfast did a great job, riding shotgun. I definitely felt some security in his presence, even if he slept through most of it.

We broke up the trip, by staying the night in Canmore. It was my last dose of AB (my favorite place) and I have to say, it was the best. I hadn't brought Breakfast to the mountains before, so it was a lovely intro for him, to walk through Banff and enjoy it before we carried on. Those mountains are a supportive healer. It felt good to show them how far I'd come, to pay my final respects. Thank you, Alberta.

Road trips are interesting when your mind travels with you. I visited some unexpected places, and talked my way through them; while weaving in and out of the most magnificent landscapes. I got to listen to what my mind was sorting through, and in the process, I left the unnecessary baggage where it belonged, and I took the rest with me as valuable life experience.

One of the things I questioned, along the way, was when someone -recently- told me that I'll "always be alone." I think it was meant to be some sort of an insult/threat, because it wasn't a kind conversation. It made me wonder. First off, friendship breakups (or any kind) are interesting, because they paint a certain picture of that person, and where they belong. Sometimes, their words are a reflection of how they feel. When you move into a better place with yourself, not everyone follows. It's okay, it's a part of life. Perhaps this threat of being alone wasn't meant for me...

Ironically, I was alone as I talked myself through this mind puzzle; yet I didn't feel alone at all. I had the mountains around me, my dog riding shotgun, and a trusty little car taking me to my next destination. I suppose I didn't understand the concept of being alone, because I see a certain value in the things around me. I feel grateful for being appreciative, appreciative for being grateful. Perhaps if you remove all living things: the trees, the earth, the sky, the ocean, the stars, nature, the wind that sweeps my hair, my soul; then maybe, just maybe, I'll feel it. That concept actually sounds pretty scary, and yet... I'm still not alone.

Just as the words entered my mind, I left them behind; because their meaning was not understood in the fashion they were dealt. I feel it was used as an attempt to put me in a place that was far below where I had been, yet, I feel they only placed me further above where I had just come from. What I learned from this conversation with myself, is that self love and appreciation is a hefty piece of armour. Thick. Deep. If you can be with yourself and feel completely surrounded and full of love, you have nothing to fear, and you will never be alone.

Thank you, for being there with me for the ride.

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