a lesson in sharing

So the girl seems to talk a lot about projects and ideas, but never seems to share the process work or finished result. Hmn, I sense things are changing around here, as I've caught myself sitting with pen and paper on more days than usual, encouraging myself to open up, experiment and share. A cup of tea, an open curtain, beaming sun. How much there is to be grateful for. Sunshine and thoughts, grapes and jasmine.


As I still catch myself falling into old habits of over-questioning and over thinking and wondering if I'm making the best decisions, I'm also learning to catch those things more quickly and focus on what I am driven by, and surround myself with those things to keep my line of focus clear. I can so easily lose sight of my own goals if I'm not too careful. I had to find a way to exercise my interests in order to keep things moving. At first, I had no idea what those interests were, until I stopped looking for them.

Apparently I love to learn, and remember most things by taking visual notes, diagrams, informational maps. I've been learning about the constellations, how to plant cherry tomatoes, how to raise a puppy, the sharks of the world, how a horse's legs bend and move. Doing the mind work is what lets me practice my work without even seeing it as work at all. I love love love being an illustrator.


Coming back into illustration at first glance was a little intimidating, as I was given some projects in the process of getting myself back into the swing of things. It was like getting back on a bike again after a really long time, where I worried a lot about what could happen. There was even a point where I questioned if I could follow things through, as my hands were still pretty slow at picking things up, not communicating so well the imagery in my mind. My speed needed work, and I had to just let the wobbly parts pass.


The projects I've been given the pleasure to work on, I unfortunately can't quite share as of yet, as they are still waiting for publication, launch or finalization. Either way, they were in great timing, as each one has come one after the other, giving me little time to stop and over think my way out of it out of fear of screwing things up. Each project provided me with a different challenge and a different form of inspiration. It was then that I started to pick up the pens more easily on my own terms. The wheels started turning with more and more consistence and even a bit more determination.


As there may be moments where some projects just don't fall through the way they should, I am going through this process with incentive, one which I am even still learning to take seriously and give to myself as reason to believe more solidly in my work. By sharing with others through this process, including the process work, I think these next few months are going to be very interesting for both of us.