day 26: go time
It's hard to believe that after 3 years of being a part of Go Auto, I will be moving on to bigger things, after tomorrow. I've been wanting to avoid this post since the start of this month, because I knew it would be tough to put into words and accept that it's over (or more like a beginning). It's amazing to think that this day has arrived, and it's time to focus forward, into a totally new piece of life. Change is good for the soul, they say. It's gonna be... just right now, I feel it's having some down time. It sucks to say goodbye.
To dip back in time a little, I came to this city not knowing much about it at all. I took it as an opportunity to get to know myself and live on my own. When I got the call to give it a shot, I didn't hesitate, and jumped on board. With my 2008 Sunfire, I hit the road from Winnipeg, without looking back. I guess I knew it was going to be a good experience no matter what. I took it as an adventure, with nothing to lose and so much to gain. I had no idea what I was in for, or what it would even look like when I arrived. Fortunately, it worked out. This was the best decision I ever made, no doubt about it.
Feeling like the new girl didn't last very long. Right away, I felt that I was accepted into the group, who soon became some of my closest friends in the city, and eventually a bit of a family. I think very highly of this company and what it has become to me through the years; for what the people have done for me, what the experience has taught me, and for the confidence I'll be leaving with. I really do owe my boss a tremendous thank you for seeing my strengths and doing everything in his power to help my position, until it just became too much on both of us. I think we both struggled to admit defeat in the matter, but instead of kick me out with resent, he guided me toward where I naturally belong. It really does suck that I can't be a part of this team. What a group of incredibly talented and wonderful people.
I try not to feel like I've failed, or that I've let anyone down. I owe so much to this company for letting me be a part of it for so many years, and showing me what sorts of things I'm capable of doing. I have to admit that I've had a funny sensation of feeling 'left out' simply because I don't want to miss out on my days with them. That was part of the struggle I was having with moving on, by coasting through on comfort. I feel lucky to say that I've come to work, without noticing a day where I didn't laugh or have a good time. I wish I could have faked it harder, but I know they'd never allow it. They want what's best for me. That feels pretty amazing.
Fortunately, I'm a good 'keeper in toucher' and I won't be losing touch with my Go family, whether they like it or not. These people have helped me through such an interesting transition; getting to know myself, this city, and what there is to be proud of in this entire experience. I'm going to miss the laughs, the stories, the nonsense, the voices, the noise. I'm going to miss the talks, the brainstorms, inside jokes, the team building, the cookie sharing.. everything. Every little thing, I will miss about these people. What an incredibly heartwarming sensation to think of them, as family, and as a part of my life I will never forget. I haven't had that in years. For that, I'm touched, and filled with tears of joy and of course a teeny bit of sadness. It's not an easy bandaid to peel. I'm going to miss it, I really am, but this is absolutely for the better. I know that, and so do they. Man... it's tough.
To end it here, I'll just say one hundred times, thank you. Thank you, Go Auto, for giving me the strength to push forward, to see that I have so much to share, and talent that cannot be wasted on newsletters and forms with checkboxes. Thank you for telling me to get out there, to try hard, and show the world and myself that I'm good at what I do. I don't think anyone would have helped me in the way that you have. I will be forever grateful for the most thoughtful and helpful kick in the ass to believe in myself. All the best. You guys fucking rule.